Tweets That Prove That We Don’t Deserve Dads
Dads are treasured members of society who deserve to be protected at all costs. They make us laugh with their quick wit and terrible jokes, and they always provide us with good content to tweet about.
These dad's shared all their wisdom on Twitter, and whether you're a dad or have heard it all from your own poppa, these are sure to hit home.
How To Put Sports In Perspective
Sometimes they like to make their priorities known, and in this case, the priority was to get home to watch a real baseball game rather than a little league game.
It Can Be Hard To Support Their Dreams
Your dad just wants to see you do well in life, and sometimes that means having to break those hard truths to you, like telling you that your band's trash.
They Have So Much To Teach Us
Dads are fountains of knowledge with endless wisdom to bestow upon their children, and this gem right here proves it. Lavender essential oil onion rings don't exist for a reason, okay?
They Want You To Succeed Life
"Trust me on this one son, hide your flaws until after you finish your probationary period, then they can't fire you." That's prime dad advice right there, and perfect for anyone just trying to get through their first big-time job.
Let's Get #Dadvice Trending
Come on, you can't expect your dad's advice to be perfect every time. You win some, you lose some, and sometimes you lose one shoe, but at least you didn't lose both!
Their Self-Confidence Is Through The Roof
One of the best parts about dads is that they understand their worth, and they won't settle for anything less than they deserve. They're truly an inspiration to us all.
Tell Us How You Really Feel Dad
A lot of dads are just big kids at heart, but with a better vocabulary (sometimes). They can tell you exactly what they're feeling, which is not always a good thing.
Timing Is Everything
Comedic timing is not every dad's strong suit, and sometimes they wildly misread the situation. On the other hand, they can wildly improve the situation. Unfortunately, dad's don't tend to know the difference.
They Don't Have Commitment Issues
Dads understand how to find their bit and stick with it. Even if the joke's bad, if they repeat it for five years, you'll eventually laugh. The goal is to wear you down over time.
Carpe Diem
Dads never fail to seize the opportunity for a solid joke. Never. Plus, you can't help but laugh, which only adds more fuel to their fire. Did you know in Canada, milk actually comes in a bag?!
Don't Follow Their Advice Exactly
Sometimes it feels like they might be testing you to see how dumb you actually are. It's hard to tell if they're joking or not, but you just have to take the risk.
Straight Shooter
Dads are practical beyond all belief. There's no need to get emotional. There's a time and a place for that, but that is not right now. Just pay up and move on with your life.
Get To The Point!
Dads don't have time to coddle your feelings. Dads get straight to the point. They're here to make you into a strong, independent woman whether you're ready for it or not.
Scare Tactics
Sometimes, a dad's parenting methods might seem a little unorthodox, but it'll all work out in the end. The end justifies the means, right? You only turned out a little traumatized.
He Never Remembers The Right Name
Refusing to call things by their real name is another classic dad trope, whether it's the name of your favorite snack or the name of your first boyfriend that he hated.
The Classic Dad Joke
If your dad doesn't make this specific joke, does he even count as a dad? And no matter how many times he says it, he will always chuckle to himself.
Pop Culture Isn't His Thing
When it comes to pop culture, they're always just a little behind the times, or they can never remember the name of that one actor from the movie they watched that one time.
They Always Keep You Humble
Dads are put on this earth to keep their kids humble. They need to make sure you don't get too big for your britches (which is something a dad would say.)
It's Basically The Same Thing
They might be able to understand life's major issues and questions, but when it comes to basic concepts, all reason goes out the window. This is why we need to protect them.
Back When I Was A Boy
Sometimes dads like to exaggerate for dramatic effect. They push the boundaries a little bit and see what they can get away with, but we love them anyway! We don't deserve dads.
Flawed Logic
Sure, this is one thing you could do. The problem is, if your suitcase gets stolen, that also means that you're going to be left with only one shoe, so I guess you just have to hope it doesn't get stolen...
It's Part Of The Yearly Bonus
Just about every other dad would argue with this teen that actually yes, it is a father's job to embarrass their child. What's the point of having children if you aren't able to inflict an appropriate amount of humiliation on them?
You'd Never Hear The End Of It
You're setting yourself up for a lifetime's worth of jokes, or however long your relationship lasts with someone who shares the same name as a fairy-tale character. Your dad will get endless entertainment from this.
That's One Way To Teach Them
This is the same philosophy as teaching your kid to swim by throwing them in the pool unexpectedly. It might not be approved by everyone, but it's going to get the job done.
Don't Quit Your Day Job
Your parents are supposed to support you because you're their child and they want you to pursue your dreams, but they also want to prepare you for the real world.
Everyone Defines "Essential" Differently
Is he wrong, though? Mozzarella sticks or onion rings couldn't exist with oil, whereas you could probably get rid of your migraine without using that lavender "essential" oil you spent too much money on.
This Is How The Marriage Lasts
The reason that your parents have been able to stay married for 40 years is because your mom knows the key to a happy marriage: you don't need to listen to every word your husband says.
Don't Take This Advice
Unless your dad wants to get a call from you from the local jail after you get arrested for disrespecting a police officer or refusing to cooperate, you probably shouldn't take this advice.
The Sweet Sound Of Silence And Lies
This is one way to scare your particularly chatty child into giving you a few months of silence. You might even manage to get a few years of quiet time out of them until they use some of those allotted words to ask whether or not this is still true.
That's Not How The Body Works
This sounds like the strategy of a dad who is hoping that taking his kids to a buffet for lunch and telling them about this theory will result in them being full for the rest of the day, or having such a bad stomach ache that they can't even think about dinner.
