These Hilariously Brutal Breakup Messages Will Give The Heartbroken PTSD
Breakups are one of the toughest emotional situations to go through. You might have a feeling beforehand that your significant other is going to call it quits, but the hope inside of you lingers on. Then you get hit with the "Babe, we have to talk." Now your heart begins to race, and you don't know what to expect next. In a fairytale world, they'd confess their love for you. Well, this is real life, and some people are straight up savages with the way they call an end to their romantic relationships. Here are the some most brutal (and a little hilarious) breakup messages.
At Least They Were Considerate
If pizza is one of your favorite dishes, then this breakup has to be one of the most bittersweet things you've ever seen. On one hand, you get to chow on some delicious cheese pizza. On the other hand, you're now single and maybe sick to your stomach.
At least the culprit behind this evil plan was a little bit considerate leaving the newly single some pizza to cry into. Did he or she have the delivery guy write that on the box or did they hand them the pizza in person? Either way, this is savage.
That's Awkward...
Don't you love it when your significant other has something sweet to tell you? It's even better when he or she makes you guess what it is before the big reveal. The classic "let's say it at the same time" always works brilliantly. Except when it doesn't.
In this case, only one person had something sweet to say. The other was just here to serve up heartbreak. Jacob's boo was over with this relationship, meanwhile, Jacob wanted to get married. Crazy how life works, right?
How's That For a Message?
Well, Paul, it can't be good to be you right now. How will you ever show your face at this cafe again without feeling any type of guilt and shame? On top of that, you won't even get to keep the doggo!
Paul must frequent this place a lot for his lady to have this message placed up like this. She knew he would eventually see it one way or another. Hopefully, another Paul in the town didn't take this message the wrong way.
Now You're Broke And Single
To have your ex-wife go to these heights to end things, we can't even be mad. She clearly was trying to gain Steven's attention for quite some time, so it looks like this was the best way to get him listening.
Now, not only can he see Emily's concerns, but everyone who drives past this sign will be able to as well. Maybe Steven will learn his lesson for his next relationship if chooses to get in another.
Good Job, Dave!
Dave really messed up with this one. All he had to do was stay faithful to his wife and kids and he could have easily avoided this situation. Now, the kind people in this parking lot get to laugh and make fun of him for having a side chick.
What's worse is that his now ex-wife emptied their bank account. Dave didn't think this through, clearly. Nikki took the kids and the money as she tarnished his SUV.
Great Joke!
We've heard some pretty bad knock-knock jokes in the past, but this one has to take the cake. When you get an unexpected text from your "babe" containing a knock-knock joke, you expect to laugh.
You're not thinking you're going to cry your eyeballs out once the joke is over. What's even worse is how they made it a more serious thing in their final text. We hope this person didn't feel too bad once this was all said and done.
A Savage Wish
Have you ever tried to make a wish at 11:11? While your wish might not come true immediately, this person's desires probably did. No one wants to be on the receiving end of a message like this.
It looks like one person was too invested in this relationship while the other probably couldn't stand it. Our hearts go out to this wish maker and we hope that they one day can find someone to grow up with and get married with.
You're Not Funny
It must hurt to know that your efforts at trying to make someone laugh don't work at all. It's even worse to know that your attempts are so bad that they make someone want to break up with you. What if this person had dreams of being a comedian?
That's beside the point. What we're trying to say is sometimes your efforts don't work. Sometimes they're so bad that they make someone not want to see you anymore. It happens.
That's The Point!
When you break up with someone you've got to be sure it's what you want and you're not going to go back on your word. You also have to let it be known that you're serious about it. You never know how they might try and manipulate you.
As you can see here, this recipient already tried to play mind games by saying, "you'll never find someone like me line." The other stood their ground and came out of this fire just fine.
That's A Yard Sale We Like!
When a garage sale signs says "All must go" that means the owner is willing to bargain with you like no other. You might be able to get something that he wanted to get rid of for $100 for only $10!
Oh, and about the wife. She probably isn't going to like this too much but she shouldn't have been cheating in the first place. What a way to find out that your relationship is over.
That's Got To Hurt...
The acronym "ily" usually stands for I love you. Most of the time, that's what it stands for. Unfortunately, this person ended up in the two percent of this phrase. We feel extremely bad for he or she.
All they wanted to see was the three words "I love you," instead, they got some of the most daunting words in relationship history. Whoever sent this shouldn't receive any type of forgiveness from the other individual ever.
Have A Cake While You're At It
Well, things could always be worse. You could have just received the news minus the cake, right? At least with the cake, it isn't that bad. Who are we kidding, this is sad no matter what way you swing it.
We're assuming one member of this couple got the opportunity to move abroad and took it, leaving their S.O. behind. To find out on a piece of cake that you're now single has to be one of the most ruthless breakups of all-time!
Get Your Math Together
Being in a relationship with someone who isn't that great at math isn't a big deal. Everyone can't be a math wiz and we get that. However, knowing proper English and how to spell can go a long way. All you need to do is ask Ron.
He found out the hard way. He thought it was his math skills, but it turns out that wasn't the case at all. We have a strange hunch that his grammar skills played a part in this breakup.
What A Trick
This is a perfect example as to why some people don't trust anyone. One moment you're driving along and you see possibly the best sign of your life. Then, moments later, your life comes crashing down.
Not only that, you have six days to get yourself together and find somewhere else to stay. That's a type of pressure we hope no one ever has to feel. Let's just hope they were able to keep it together while driving.
Denial Is Real
Either this person is so blindly in love that they can't see what's happening or denial took over all of their regular senses. Either way, once it finally hits, she is going to be in for a rude awakening.
The boyfriend is even yelling via text to try and make sure that she gets the point, but all she sees is an auto correct issue. We pray for her as she deals with this issue of being oblivious.
Wow, He Aired Her Dirty Laundry
This just goes to show that if you think you're getting away with going behind your partner's back, you need to think again. This girl just got hit with one of the biggest breakup combos there is.
How could she be so sneaky? Doing all of that deserved this type of breakup if we're being honest. No one deserves to be betrayed on this level. At least she doesn't need to feel guilty anymore.
When They Don't Get The Picture
How many times must a person hint at you that it's time to break up before you get the hint? We get it that you have feelings for this person, but don't ever be too blinded that you don't get the hints.
Granted, these clues weren't as obvious as we're making it seem. To some degree, there are some obvious clues in them. Everyone knows Justin and Britney broke up forever ago!
Taking A Look In The Mirror
There's nothing like coming home and going to the bathroom only to learn that you've been dumped just by looking in the mirror.
Not only is your relationship over, but now you have to clean all of that makeup off of your mirror as you reflect back on all of the fond memories that you once had with your significant other. The real question is who broke up with who in this incredibly harsh situation?
Get It Together, Shawn
It's not unusual for little kids to start "dating" but not even talk and maybe hug each other on occasion. It seems as though Rachel was fed up with Shawn being so distant so she decided that it was time to end the relationship.
Three months is quite a long time to not talk to your significant other, even if the two are especially young. Shawn should take this note to heart, Rachel provides him with some pretty sound life advice that might come in handy.
Let The Games Begin
Nothing like a little scavenger hunt to help you through a breakup. Seems like this guy was doing some shady talking to a girl named Kelsi on Facebook and now he has to pick up the pieces of his life, literally.
Hopefully, he paid attention during his relationship because it looks like he needs to know a few landmark events in order to get some of his stuff back. Luckily for him, his now-ex-girlfriend didn't destroy all of his belongings as some other people might do.
Letting The World Know
There are few things harsher than breaking up with your girlfriend on social media so that the whole world knows. It's even harsher that he did it without her knowing so she found out after logging onto Instagram.
We wonder what she did for him to be inclined to break up with her via Instagram and letting her down gently in the comment section. Maybe they were able to settle things in the DMs but we're willing to bet that's unlikely.
100,000,000 Sparkly Trampolines
When it comes to a breakup note, starting off with poetry complimenting the person you're breaking up with might not be the best strategy. They're going to think that you wrote them a love note only to read that you want to end things with them, not the nicest way to go about it.
Also, we're not sure that describing someone's smile being better than "100,000,000 sparkly trampolines" is the best comparison to use. Either way, it looks like Erin lost a significant other that day, hopefully she found herself a better writer.
Hopefully, He Reads The Paper
Wow, if you thought that getting dumped on social media was bad, imagine getting dumped in the newspaper, something that anyone can see. That's exactly what happened to Kevin Maxey, whose ex let him know that they were done in the personal section of the newspaper.
We wonder if he actually reads the paper because this seems like it would be pretty easy to miss if you didn't know what you were looking for. If he didn't see it, things might be awkward next time he goes to visit his now ex.
Breaking Up With Your Work
Sometimes, breakup letters don't always have to be for a boyfriend or girlfriend. For example, this girl wrote one to Five Guys, the burger restaurant that she worked at. It was probably an effective and respectful way to let her boss know that she was leaving and it sure is better than getting fired.
We think it's safe to assume that she had a close relationship with her co-workers, otherwise this letter might have been a little weird to give to an employer.
Dear Neighbors
You have to appreciate the effort of this sign. While most people might make a sign with paper and markers, this woman went all out and designed and ordered a professional sign.
Now, everyone in her neighborhood knows that her wife cheated which resulted in her moving out of the house. Chances are, the husband isn't going to be invited to neighborhood weekend barbecues anymore. Maybe they will still invite his ex-wife even though she moved out!
Imaginary Memories
It appears that Greg and this girl weren't all that close to begin with as he refers to her as "Dr. Who Girl." To be honest, while this might be harsh, it's actually quite funny since Greg apparently managed to love, marry, and divorce Dr. Who Girl in his imagination and sees no reason to do it in real life.
Also, in his fantasy, the two had a cat and a house in Hawaii which sounds like a pretty good life. Greg has quite the imagination.
Two Birds With One Stone
This kindergartner figured that he would kill two birds with one stone with this note. Not only did he break up with his girlfriend of one month, but he also wished her a happy "anniversary" too.
Maybe when Delauren grows up, he'll learn that it's a bit harsh to break up with someone on your anniversary or to break up with someone using a note. Considering that he's probably only around five years old we'll cut him some slack.
So Close
This guy was trying to pull a fast one on his girlfriend when he accidentally misspelled "you" while trying to pretend that his phone had been disconnected. After blowing his own cover, it looks like he's decided that he's gone too far and stuck to his original plan.
He didn't even try to explain himself but instead fixed his mistake and moved on. We wonder if she ever got ahold of her boyfriend again or if she was actually pregnant in the first place.
Busted
It appears that Steve's girlfriend found out that he had another secret girlfriend that he was lying to as well. So, it looks like the girlfriends were in communicating and weren't mad at each other but at Steve for going behind both of their backs. So, they decided to work together and both broke up with him at the same time using this well-placed sign.
You can imagine how Steve felt after going from two girlfriends to zero in a matter of seconds. Other people who saw the sign probably aren't going to be dating Steve anytime soon either.
The List Goes On And On
While getting dumped is never easy, it's particularly brutal if your ex leaves behind a list of just about every reason that they're breaking up with you. However, this person who is getting dumped has some pretty bad habits that make it understandable why their boyfriend no longer wanted to be with her.
It seems that she was such a bad girlfriend that her boyfriend felt obligated to make a list of everything she does wrong so that maybe she can make some changes to be a better girlfriend to her next guy.
Just Like That, It Was Over
This breakup letter is short and sweet and gets the point across for the most part. It's actually pretty honest with the author letting the person they are breaking up with down slow. While the note is relatively sincere, it's the post script at the end which makes it sound a little rough.
The author wrote "No one has to know we were going together in the first place," insinuating that they didn't want anyone to know that they were ever romantically involved.
My Words In Pictures
This guy clearly had a hard time putting his emotions into words. At least he admits that he doesn't know how to, so he doesn't end up saying something wrong.
So, naturally, he decided to to draw a picture of himself riding a giraffe to help make the girl that he's breaking up with feel better. For the most part, the majority of people probably wouldn't be very happy receiving a card like this, but it looks like "ZF" does things like this on a regular basis.
Ruthless
We're not sure what the deal is with people breaking up with their significant others in a public fashion, but it seems like it's happening a lot. In this situation, it doesn't even seem like Dan did anything wrong, but his girlfriend Laura is leaving him for a man named Gary.
To add insult to injury, she kicked him out of the house, dumping his belongings at his parent's house. On top of all that, she even did it on Valentines day. Now that's a harsh breakup, we hope you're doing alright Dan.
That's One Way To Go About It
Although most people might try and be nice when they're breaking up with somebody, that's not the case for this little boy. He doesn't want anything to do with his romantic interest and even drew a rather graphic image of her dying.
Hopefully, this never made it to Valerie because this is a little note is definitely brutal for somebody her age. We're sure Valerie found somebody who respects her and we hope that whoever wrote this note found some help.
Short And Sweet
Sometimes, a short and sweet note is better than a flowery and detailed letter. This also applies to breakup notes, depending on the situation. While you wouldn't want to receive this note after dating someone for years, this might be effective after briefly dating someone in elementary or middle school.
However, we also respect how Jenny makes it clear that she's not interested in any of Alexander's friends. Let's just hope that she stayed true to her word and didn't go behind his back. She already dumped him, isn't that enough?
When In Doubt
It's not easy to break up with anyone, so sometimes, it might be easier to just use the words that someone else has already spoken. People quote movies all of the time, but to use one to break up with someone is just plain savage.
The impressive part was that the person being dumped even got the reference. It's possible that they both love superheros and that's how they started dating in the first place. Maybe the person being dumped had a quote that they used in response too.
That "New Movie"
Oh man, this is just brutal. Person #1 asks whether Person #2 has heard of a movie called "other people," which probably leads Person #2 to think they're going to have a date night soon. But no, Person #1 was just using the line as a way to let their partner know they don't want to be in a relationship anymore.
Combined with the fact that this was done over a text message, we feel pretty bad for Person #2.
Right Back Atcha
Okay, this one might be a joke between two people who have an awesome sense of humor about their relationship. But if they're not just playing around, then this lady seriously got in the last word in a fantastic way.
Although getting dumped while pregnant is probably one of the worst things you could ever have to go through, being able to throw the news back in the face of the person who just broke up with you might be pretty satisfying. We hope these two were able to make things work out for the sake of the kid.
Divorce Is Not An Option
Wow. This one is a double whammy -- he thinks he's breaking up with his side chick but instead, he let his wife know all about his cheating ways. It's confusing why the wife was relieved at first, though. What on earth did she possibly think he meant?
We really want a follow up on this one. How did everything go down after this? Is this couple still together? There are so many questions…
Funny/Not Funny
You can tell that the person on the right is completely DONE with giving their partner yet another chance to hurt them. They're so over it that they’re even willing to make a joke out of a simple autocorrect, even though the other person is clearly devastated.
There’s only so much a person can take in a relationship, but we have to wonder how badly this person was treated for them to make such a cold joke in a serious moment.
