If Your Flight Is Delayed Then You Need To Read These Hilarious Tweets
Layovers, delays, waiting to board, and everything in between can be a real drag at the airport. The wait, mixed withall the shenanigans you have to deal with before flying, could make even the Dalai Lama's blood boil a bit. Luckily, Twitter was invented. There are tons of funny people who feel the same way you do while stuck in these unbearable situations. Here are the most hilarious tweets from the Twitterverse that make being at the airport more tolerable.
Look Out For Big Pharma!
There are a lot of theories about things being made up by the government. This idea from Max Silvestri is the one the makes the most sense! It's surprising that no one else ever came up with this idea.
Who buys travel sizes outside of when they need to travel anyway? Big Pharma had this idea up their sleeve before travel sizes were invented, we're willing to bet. It's the best way to up their funds in every arena. You're not slick, Big Pharma.
How. Is. This. HAPPENING
If captains spoke their minds, this might be pretty spot-on with what they would say. As a matter of fact, this is something any person would wonder. How do we fly the way we do?
We're in the air riding inside a massive heap of metal parts that weighs a ton, and we're speeding through the air like it's nothing. The science behind it is even a bit sketchy, but it gets us to our destination so let's not question it any further.
Say It Louder!
Hercules had to go through a lot to get to the top of the pinnacle. Defeating the Hydra monster was plenty tough, but if you had asked him to keep his cool while dealing with airline customer service things might have been different.
As strong as Hercules is, not even the biggest muscles in the world can pretend to like talking to customer service. That is a battle for only strong-willed people. We're not doubting the legend, but we know it wouldn't have been easy for Hercules if he'd had an airline task.
The Best Baby Ever
Wow, what a baby. Quite frankly, we thought this was a myth. A baby being this well-behaved on a flight? What are the odds? No kicking the person's seat in front, no uncontrollable crying, and no spitting up on the parents?
What is the secret? This child is probably going to grow up and be the next Tom Cruise. Handling a flight so well is a telling sign. And to top it off, a round of applause happened, and the little one just laughed. That is a real winner.
That's A Burn
This tweet epitomizes how everyone feels about airline mistakes. There's also a second bash, with men receiving some heat as well. As Joe DeRosa is a male, he must feel strongly about this topic.
There's no telling how many issues he's been through. If it's half the amount the average person experiences, then there's reasonable cause for this tweet. Whether he's throwing his gender up in flames or not, this message needed to be tweeted.
Say Your Prayers
When things get rough, people find religion as fast as they can. When the pilot brings up turbulence, no matter how little, the flight instantly becomes a potential scene from the movie Final Destination. It never gets that serious, but still.
This Twitter user just wants to make it to the other side now. Even if he wasn't religious, we're willing to bet he tossed all that out the window and started to recite five Hail Mary prayers back to back.
Aziz Being Aziz
First of all, why does Aziz Ansari have a Top Ponytails of All Time list? That's a question for another day, but he must have been incredibly bored to have taken the time out of his life to tweet this. His pain is our laughter.
What would have made this tweet even better is attaching an image to it. Ansari was probably too blown away by the greatness of that ponytail, obviously. If any of you meet him, show this tweet and ask how gorgeous that hair was.
Nicely Played
We all know getting through the airport isn't the same as it used to be. One false move and you're liable to be detained in a matter of seconds. That includes bringing a tube of toothpaste bigger than the size recommended.
Joe Mande simply had a meltdown (something every person has from time to time) and was worried about being a target. Some people just need to unwind without worrying about consequences. If that happens to be in the airport so be it.
Distraction From The Heavens
There are some beautiful views all over the world. From Niagara Falls to the Nile River, your eyes have never seen anything more amazing. It appears as if this Twitter user is upset over the TVs on planes stripping people's chances of looking over the planet's natural beauty.
It's not every day you get to soar through gigantic cotton candy (referring to clouds). It's also even better this perspective is angelic. Turn away from your screen and take a glance out the window.
Touchy TSA
Going through security at the airport is always a risky process. You never know how grab-happy TSA is going to feel. Just hope that they aren't itching to get a good grope of you.
It looks like Jenny Johnson is used to feeling the "love," but on that particular day, she didn't receive the same treatment. The sarcasm is strong with this one, but that doesn't take away from the fact that TSA shouldn't be so touchy.
Not My Yogurt!
All she wanted was some yogurt. Ana Gasteyer makes a valid point with this tweet. What if she was already consuming the yogurt before the checks and then they just took it from her? Where is the safety at in that?
Some of the safety policies that airports have installed are a bit head-scratching and sometimes they just don't make any sense. Some people get their hair product taken away and are forced to have messy hair on their trip. Others get their snacks confiscated and need to make do with peanuts and water.
The Worst
Isn't this the closest thing to the truth you've read all day? What she is describing is what happens when the flight lands and everyone attempts to get off at the same time. People are stuck standing tilted while the person ahead of you is taking forever to take their bag from the overhead.
Some are smart and remain seated while this is all happening. That is probably the best tactic to take unless you're in the front seats. It's all about timing in these situations.
What Everyone Is Thinking
Be honest, this might be one of your biggest fears while flying. Something going wrong, and not even the pilot knows what in the world is happening. If this ever happens to you, please refer to the earlier page about religion.
This should never happen, though. The pilot needs always to know what is going on. But every person should have access to a parachute just in case something crazy happens, and passengers need to abort ship.
Funny People Do Funny Things
This seems like a great idea to make the process of going through airport security a little more tolerable. No matter what, the process is a pain, but spicing up your socks could be fun.
And depending on what type of "fun sock" you wear, your experience could change drastically with each trip. If your idea of a fun sock is a design with pigs dressed as cops, then prepare for a great time!
That Doesn't Sound Correct
This tweet is pretty amusing. Picking up where the last tweet left off, airline security is indeed an interesting process. And by interesting we mean ridiculous. You never know what to expect. One thing you can count on, however, is having a sense of angst.
You have to take off your shoes, you have to make a diamond out of your hands like you're Jay-Z, and then if they don't like how you walk, you have to do it all over again. Safety is essential, but there has to be a better way to go about this process.
You've Got To Be Kidding
The first rule of thumb: don't ever drool on anyone. Second, if you do happen to drool on people, don't tell them if they were asleep. Allow them to think they did it themselves.
That way, you can avoid unany tension that could arise. We don't think Rafael Torres should have told this person about his drool being on their shirt, but if he did, he did. Someone get this man a bib next time he flies.
No. Way.
If anyone ever dared to pull out some travel-sized drums on a flight, then they would deserve a Medal of Honor. It's like, what's the most obnoxious thing you can bring on a plane that isn't a baby that won't stop crying and kicking (no disrespect)?
People are going to despise you, but you'd be the only person ever to have the courage to pull off something like that. Which is why you would deserve a medal of some sort.
New Show On The Horizon?
Imagine being on a plane and everything is going smoothly. You're about an hour out from your destination and then suddenly, an announcement is made over the intercom. "ATTENTION ALL PASSENGERS, OUR TWO PILOTS ARE INCAPABLE OF FLYING THE AIRCRAFT ANYMORE!"
Your heart begins to race. A flight attendant urges that you come and help because everyone else is in incredible shock. You are now the latest contestant on So You Think You Can Fly A Plane,a reality series that tricks unsuspecting passengers into thinking they have to fly the plane because everyone else is purposely unwilling.
The Plane That Never Took Off
Sometimes, the takeoff can take just as long as the wait to get off the plane. Some planes taxi on the runway for way longer than you expected and it starts to feel like you've been rolling around for a lifetime. This looks like the case here.
This tweet might be the funniest one yet. It really feels like an eternity when this happens. If you're lucky, you might even get into a race with a plane on a parallel runway.
He's Fed Up
The date was March 16, 2013. Alex Baze had realized he was done flying and done for good. No matter what airline it was, this tweet sounds like he means business.
The only thing we wonder is how in the world is he going to get to Europe, assuming he lives in America? That would be one long cruise across many oceans. But when a man has his mind made up, there is no changing it. It Baze's mind seems pretty made up.
