We’re Feeling A Little Bit Better About Ourselves After These People Shared The Dumbest Things They Believed As A Child
Children aren't all sunshine and daisies, but they sure are funny. People took to the internet to share the dumbest things that they believed when they were a kid, and they sure did deliver. How were we all so gullible as children? It's like we grew up and swapped out our crazy imaginations to live in the real world.
Even if we're suffering in reality now, these stories are simple reminders of how innocent we used to be. There is at least one lie in here that every parent told their child for no reason. On behalf of everyone here, I'd like to say thank you to the people of Twitter and Reddit for sharing the dumbest things they believed.
I Still Don't Know How Traffic Lights Work
I think we all had some strange theory of how traffic lights work because there has never been one definitive answer. Some people say the road is weighted, and others say the lights are just on a timer.
If it's just a timer, why does the walk button make it change faster? I have questions for the person working inside the traffic light.
This Mom Was An Evil Genius
I genuinely feel bad for the person who believed the ice cream truck music meant they were all sold out. They probably missed out on a lot of joy and ice cream in their childhood.
The mom, on the other hand, is an evil genius who should be giving other parents lessons on how to trick their children.
Cats Are Too Evil To All Be Female
It seems like a lot of kids believed this, and I'm not sure what made us think that. Is it because cats are usually smaller and more graceful than dogs?
If you owned a cat, you'd know this couldn't be true. All cats are plotting to take over the world and history has told us that world domination is a classic male move.
That Makes Me Want To Eat Broccoli Even Less
This doesn't sound like a very "cute thought" to have when you're a child. It's hard enough to get kids to eat their vegetables. It probably didn't help that this kid thought he was eating tiny little bark-covered, bug-infested trees.
Next time, just stick to pretending the broccoli is an airplane.
It Sounds Like Republicans And Democrats Aren't That Different After All
If only this were the singular difference between Republicans and Democrats. If you think about it logically, Republicans are usually more conservative and straight-laced, while Democrats have traditionally been more liberal and laidback.
I'd pay money to see a Democrat dressed in leggings and a t-shirt during a debate.
Modern Day Bonnie And Clyde
I'll give this person the benefit of the doubt because the concept that we all use money that we store in a bank is hard to wrap your mind around when you're a kid.
Understanding how bank cards work is probably just as confusing to a child as understanding Bitcoin is to me right now.
Don't Tell Obama
Someone should break it to Obama that he wasn't the first. When you think about it, the president who abolished slavery could easily be mistaken for being black.
But I'm not sure how anyone thinks that Jimmy Carter, the peanut farmer from Georgia, was one of the first black presidents.
The OG Billy Madison
This poor guy must have felt pretty bad about being stuck in second grade for ten years. Maybe he could call up Adam Sandler for some advice on how to pass grade school and win the family's fortune.
If this random second grader didn't look like Will Smith, then this mix-up never would have happened.
I Guess They Could Be Used For That Too
I hope someone let Gbemi know that there are such things as diapers for if you need to use the washroom on the go. To be honest, the jumbo version of women's sanitary pads are basically a diaper, so you're not that far off.
Maybe just hold it for the length of the subway ride though.
Being A Musician Sounds Like Hard Work Now
I want to know where this radio tower is that all the most famous musicians are performing live twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
I have so many questions. Do they bring their own bands? What do they do for background vocals? Can they use autotune live?
Did Every Parent Lie And Say This To Their Child?
Seriously, I want to know what parenting convention all the adults of the world got together at and decide to ban the use of the inside light in the car at night.
I understand that they can be distracting, they can affect vision and other harmful things. But my mom had me believing we would get arrested if I turned on the light.
The People Of Pompeii Wish This Was True
I'm sure a lot of people in history wish that volcanos weren't real. Out of these three, I'm not sure which one I'd want to be real.
I know certain volcanos have wiped out entire cities and stuff, but werewolves are really only evil once a month and vampires seem like they're misunderstood creatures.
"Take Me To Turch" - Hozier, Maybe
If you're a child with limited speech skills, I feel like this is a pretty understandable mistake to make. It's not like churches — I mean, turches — make it easy for you when the cross does look like a lowercase "T."
Plus, no one's going to correct the kid who is saying it wrong because the child might have a legitimate speech impediment.
Whoever Invented Colors Is A Forgotten Genius
Everyone's always praising the inventor of the telephone or the radio, but we're all sleeping on the secret genius who invented color.
Imagine having to wake up every day and choose between light grey, dark grey, and black. How did our grandparents do it?
Coming Out Of The Womb Looking Fresh
Do you think they have little baby boutiques in the left fallopian tube and an accessory wall in the right fallopian tube?
Then after choosing out the perfect birthday outfit, you can try it on in the uterus, and return to the womb and await your red carpet arrival.
Why Wouldn't They Turn Into Weiner Dogs?
I'm not sure if Leah had some weird grudge against pit bulls, but thinking that any dog hit by a car becomes one clearly shows some favoritism.
If she thought that because pit bulls have a squished-looking face, then why didn't she think it was a wiener dog? They look like a regular dog got stepped on and squished down.
Welcome To America
This has to be the most American childhood belief. In many other countries, the government covers hospital visits for childbirth.
Only in America would things get so desperate that someone believed you have to trade in your child to pay for them to be born.
Airplane Safety Has Been Lacking For Years
American Airlines needs to get it together and revamp their safety procedures because this person just dropped a truth bomb.
I love when children are old enough to try and use common sense to figure out a way to get out of an airplane, but they're not old enough to understand physics.
Hopefully, They At Least Got A Name Drop In The End Credits
Movie extras might be struggling actors living paycheck to paycheck and eating ramen noodles every day for dinner, but they definitely want to keep on living.
Kids have wild imaginations, and believing that movie extras want to die is at the top of the crazy-idea list. If that's true, then Game of Thrones has some explaining to do.
A Skill That Many Of Us Wish To Master
This family was savage when their son tried to show off his special skills. For all they know, talking with your eyes closed could be a genetic trait that runs in the family.
At least this kid also got the chance to master the skill of crying with his eyes closed.
