It’s Safe To Say That Spring Break Broke These Partiers In Half And It’s Hilarious
Spring break is a time of babes, bikinis, beaches, booze and incredibly dumb, sometimes life-changing decisions. It's a time when all rules fly out the door temporarily as you party away the days and night in a resort with thousands of other people who are doing the exact same thing.
If you're lucky, only your good friends will get to see all the boneheaded things you do. If you're unlucky, the entire world will catch a glimpse into your stupidity. Fortunately for us, and unfortunately for the people in this article, the entire world witnessed how spring break shenanigans and it's hilarious.
So Many Questions...
The unpredictability of SB is absolutely amazing. When you wake up you have no idea what you're about to get yourself into that day. It could be a cool, calm, relaxing lay down by the resort pool, or you could be wrapped in duct tape with three vodka crans taped to your chest. You just don't know.
Spring Break Fact: Every year, about two million students in the US go on a spring break trip. Collectively, these students spend over a billion dollars on booze, room fees, and other indulgences.
Eye Wash
It always seems like a good idea to have your friend helicopter some alcohol into your mouth. The problem is that it very seldom will ever go the way you want it to. Most of the time the stream will completely miss your mouth and temporarily blind you when it pours all over your face.
Spring Break Fact: Contrary to popular belief, alcohol in the eye softens the epithelium and would make the cornea susceptible to damage. Consequently, you'll feel stinging and irritation that is a result of the damage your eye will be feeling.
When There Are Not Enough Beds In The Room
This is a brilliant use of space. When you rent a room with two double beds and there is 15 of you, sometimes you have to use your resource management skills and get so drunk that you actually want to sleep on the floor of a public washroom. As long as you're with a friend to soak in the excrements with, you're golden.
Spring Break Fact: Nearly 60% of students who attend SB report some sort of injury to them while away. Not to get dark, but every year multiple students die from falling out of balconies during the week, mostly because they're too intoxicated.
Don't Be The First Person To Pass Out
This is why it's important to work on your alcoholic stamina before spring break. You're going to drink a lot, but it's important to always make sure that you can at least outdrink one of your friends. All of the attention goes to the first guy to pass out and this stuff always happens to him. Beat him and you're good.
Spring Break Fact: SB in the US dramatically increased in popularity with the release of the book and 1960s movie titled Where The Boys Are. The book was written by an English professor who tagged along with some of his college students during spring break and ended up writing a novel about it.
"We Have A Blow-Up Half-Human, Half-Blow Up Horse On The Run"
SB is about coming out of your shell and doing things you never would've imagined possible. For this guy, getting arrested in a blow-up horse costume on a Florida beach probably wasn't on his agenda — but that's the unpredictability of SB.
Spring Break Fact: In 1997, a 24-year old production assistant named Joe Francis began producing a series of VHS tapes of drunken women exposing their breasts in Ft. Lauderdale during SB. This would be the first of the Girls Gone Wild franchise. Francis said everyone thought this was the norm and now the videos are synonymous with spring break.
Someone Come Get Their Grandma
Every year at spring break you'll surely find some former college students. Some may have graduated in 2016, while others in 1943. Nonetheless, you treat them the same and party on. These grandmas are in their prime enjoying a nice marg.
Spring Break Fact: In the early 80s, South Padre Island became the first location outside of Florida to attract a large number of spring breakers. It became popular because those under 21 could legally drink there, whereas in a majority of other states students would have to be 21.
Wanting To Be A Part Of The Girls
The classic 'jumping in the air as a group' picture was completely ruined by Jacob. You know how many takes it took to get THIS and Jacob had to ruin it? All Jacob wanted to do was to be a part of the girls' picture but instead, he had to sneak in all the way at the back.
Spring Break Fact: After Cancun was leveled by a hurricane in 1988, it was purposely rebuilt as a spring break mecca. Today, Cancun hosts close to 30,000 spring breakers each year.
Interesting Tan Lines, Man
Spring break is a time when you try different things. You sip different alcohols, eat different foods and try on different clothing and bathing suits. This fellow just wanted to see what these bikini tops were all about and it ended up backfiring on him.
Spring Break Fact: In 1975, John McGuire, an owner of Pierre's Restaurant and Bar, said he invented the first commercial wet t-shirt contest during spring break. Now, wet t-shirt contests are a staple at any resort or pool bar.
Accidental Photobomb
This has got to be one of the best photobombs in spring break history. Here are four girls just trying to get an Instagram uploaded during peak posting time and in walks our boy here getting escorted by police. He looks sandy so one can only imagine that he was building a sand castle and it took up too much, uh, space?
Spring Break Fact: During spring break, South Padre Island (a popular location for spring breakers) averages about 25 arrests a day and collects about $80,000 in fines. On average, about 2,500 American citizens get arrested abroad.
When You Don't Have Sunglasses
When you're trying to get your tan on before a big night out but you forgot your sunglasses, it's important to keep your eyes from having to squint. If that means that you have to put your underwear on your face, you do it. It's spring break, anything goes.
Spring Break Fact: Spring break is tied intricately to corporate marketing and advertising. Major beverage companies like Red Bull and Budweiser are all-encompassing at SB hot spots. If they can turn a college student into a loyal customer, they'll have them for life.
Spring Break Snow Angel
Look, not everyone makes it off of the beach in one piece. Sometimes your friend who kept saying "tequila doesn't affect me" ends up passed out on the road and gets laid to rest with all of the beer that got him to that point. This is the spring break snow angel that many end up facing.
Spring Break Fact: During SB, the average male consumes about 18 alcoholic drinks a day, while the average woman consumes 10 alcoholic drinks per day. 40% of both male and female SB goers said that they drink until they either pass out or puke.
Fifth Wheeling Will Follow You To Spring Break
If you're always the fifth wheel in your friend group, don't think that going on spring break is going to fix that. If you think your friends are going to give you the courtesy of not showing any PDA, you're thoroughly mistaken.
Spring Break Fact: Spring break was first highlighted in Time magazine in April 1959 with an article titled "Beer and the Beach." One student that was interview said, "it's not that we drink so much, it's that we drink all the time." Well, I think that those two have now combined from '59.
Your Face Won't Know What Hit It
You won't be surprised to find out that some of the most unflattering photos of you will be taken on spring break. You envision only have flattering pictures, but it's the exact opposite. You realize you have fat in places you didn't think could even have fat.
Spring Break Facts: There are as many scams to rip off SB goers and their families as there are beaches in Florida. Popular frauds include the "grandparent scam" which sees grandpa getting a call from a scammer asking for money to bail their grandson out of jail.
"Who Knows What's Been On This Furniture In This Room"
Honestly, this is probably a good idea. Those resort rooms during spring break are absolutely disgusting and who even knows what kind of bacteria infests the sheets and the chairs. Covering everything up with tinfoil will for sure prevent any diseases that may be settling in your bed and will give you distance from the bed bugs.
Spring Break Fact: SB actually began in 1938 when Ft. Lauderdale hosted the college coaches swim forum. 300 swimmers and their respective student bodies attended this inaugural year.
Unsuccessful Dismount
This is why you get off the back of the boat and not the side, especially if you're wearing a thong. This happened to this guy and it can happen to you. The last thing you want to be known for on spring break is being the thong wearing wedgie guy.
Spring Break Fact: Not SB related at all, but a fun fact nonetheless. The phrase "going commando" actually has a bit of a history. The reference of wearing pants without underwear actually has a practical purpose for military commandos. Soldiers tend to carry light, if they get rained on and their underwear gets wet, the wet fabric will irritate and chafe up against the skin it is touching. To avoid this many just went commando.
The Fail Safe
Ah, this is someone who is thinking ahead. Knowing that they'll probably get separated from their friends and won't be in a fully sober state, they are giving their drunken self a chance to get home safely. Love it.
Spring Break Fact: In Panama City Beach, SB injects hundreds of millions of dollars into the local economy and provides local businesses nearly 40% of their income for the entire year. Despite all of the destruction, it's not hard to know why these cities love hosting spring break.
Spring Break Is Just A Mind Set
Look, not all of us can afford to go on the all-inclusive spring break trip, but that doesn't mean we can't still have fun. It's all about your mindset — if you truly believe you're on spring break than you're on spring break. It doesn't matter if you're surrounded by 10 ft of snow, get out there in that bikini and drink those pineapple rums.
Spring Break Fact: Several universities and communities are attempting to "evolve" spring break. Specifically, alternative spring break organizers are offering a chance to participate in community service and other social causes such as tutoring migrant farmers in Florida or registering voters in Mississippi.
"Hold My Fishbowl"
Nothing says spring break more than finishing an entire fishbowl to yourself. Usually, these each contain about seven different types of liquor in them so his face is more than appropriate for the situation. If you look closely, even the person behind him seems to be impressed.
Spring Break Fact: Spring Breakers have nicknamed Fort Lauderdale into "Fort Liquordale" We're sure that all of the full-time residents there love how that's the way young people view their community.
Yeah, I Vape
Although this young man may seem to be having the time of his life, and that this may not be the worst situation to have your picture taken, think again. If you look past the girls in bikinis, you'll notice that he's holding a rather large vape. Not something you particularly want to be caught with on Instagram.
Spring Break Fact: Fort Lauderdale, Florida is considered by many to be the birthplace of spring break. So anyone going to college as a freshman that is from Fort Lauderdale should say their hometown with pride.
Sunscreen Optional
We're pretty sure that when this guy packed for spring break he packed some booze, a little bit more booze, and his pooka shell necklace. Sunscreen is for the weak and braving the sun in the open gets you drunker faster. By the look at the number of wristbands on his arm, no club went unconquered either.
Spring Break Fact: The first popular destination in Mexico for spring breakers was Mazatlan.Cancun and Acapulco soon followed mostly because the drinking age down there is under 21.
Quick Nap
What we have right here, is a tale as old as time. This girl probably came into spring break saying that she was going to outdrink everyone, and now here she is. The best option is to just leave her, but maybe move her head so she doesn't wake up to a face of throw up water.
Spring Break Fact: A study showed that over 57% of college females said being promiscuous during spring break was a way to fit in. If those numbers make you never want to have a daughter, we don't blame you.
Picture With The Girls
Don't you hate it when your friend sneaks up behind you when you're about to take a picture and scares the heck out of you? Well, that's exactly what Steph the stingray did and her friends are not happy about it. Steph just wanted to be included. I mean, she needed to get into as many pictures as she could now that she's newly single.
Spring Break Fact: SB actually has some interesting ancient history. Specifically, in ancient Greece and Rome, the arrival of spring was historically celebrated with the veneration of Dionysus or Bacchus, the Greek and Roman gods of wine.
Anything For The Snap
When it comes to spring break, for some reason, all safety goes out the window. You give a young man a couple drinks and they're convinced their Superman. Moving or not, this picture doesn't look like a decision that this guy's mother would be proud of. Hope you're alright, man.
Spring Break Fact: As legend tells it, modern spring break began in 1936 when Colgate University had an annual swimming competition at Fort Lauderdale and a large party followed afterward.
The Ride Home
The ride home from spring break can be one of the scariest experiences of a young person's life. You're not sure if you're ever going to make it there, you regret literally everything, and you might need to go to the hospital. However, this girl seems to be handling it well. Hot Cheetos after spring break? Bold move.
Spring Break Fact: One of the largest nightclubs in the United States is Club Lavela located in Panama City Beach. You can say that this is a pretty popular spot for spring breakers.
Staying Conscious Is For Suckers
When one is partying in an exotic place for spring break, your one option is to go big or go home, at least it was for this girl. Nothing says you had a successful spring break more than completely passing out in your bikini at the bar and it still being socially acceptable.
Spring Break Fact: The five top destinations for US spring breakers are Panama City Beach, Florida, Cancun, Mexico, Daytona Beach, Florida, South Padre Island, Texas, and Colorado’s ski resorts. Party on!
A Night To Never Remeber
Nothing is worse than waking up finding pictures of yourself like this one your phone. However, it's one thing to find them but then it's another to put them on social media. Nobody actually cares how blackout drunk you got in Cabo on spring break. Also, is that your dad?
Spring Break Fact: However, not every college student is drinking until they almost die of alcohol poisoning. Since 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina, thousands of students have been utilizing their week off from school to do volunteer work.
Draw Me Like One Of Your French Girls
One of the first rules of spring break has to do not pass out on the beach. It's a war zone out there, and anything can happen to your poor unconscious body. At least the people around this kid buried him in a little bit of sand to prevent him from being trampled.
Spring Break Fact: Because students don’t have a lot of money, many put it on credit cards which can average out to be around 5 percent of the average college student’s total post-graduate debt.
Funny or Scary?
sually on spring break, girls try to look their best while strutting their stuff on the beach. yet, it looks like these girls took a different route with their fashion this year. We can't tell if this is supposed to make us laugh or running in the other direction. Either way, we doubt Dwight Schrute would approve.
Spring Break Fact: While partying extra hard on spring break, it is estimated that around 60% of spring breakers have some kind of run-in with the police if they get arrested or not.
You Gotta Do What You Gotta Do
We're sure that this young man came into spring break as a respectable, friendly, and all around clean-cut guy. But this is what spring break does to you. One second you're having a beer and the next you panhandling on the street to afford hookers. We just hope he made it back to reality.
Spring Break Fact: Last year more than 10,000 high school and college students signed up to spend their spring breaks building houses with Habitat for Humanity. We're getting somewhere people!
Stay Strapped
We're going to take a wild guess and say that subtlety is not this guy's forte. Although this is rather crude it's hard to argue that honesty is the best policy. He's putting all of his cards on the table and at a certain point, you have to respect that.
Spring Break Fact: If you only take alimited amount of cash out when you leave your hotel room, your less likely to spend all of the money on your debit and credit card. Shocker.
How Does That Even Happen?
Some of these sunburns are just beyond crazy. We're not sure how any of these are even possible but hey, these guys did it. They're all going to need some serious aloe vera, especially the guy on the far left. Hopefully, this happened at the end of spring break and not the beginning.
Spring Break Fact: Although beach trips and exotic locations may seem like the most popular places for college students to spend spring break, many also go to the mountains for spring and snowboarding trips.
6 Packs Only
Spring break tattoos have somehow developed into a right of passage of sorts for young men. While most go will small tattoos on their butt or their thighs, some decide to go all. Take this young man for example. Let's just hope that this joke never gets old.
Spring Break Fact: Scams are incredibly common on spring break. One such scam is called the “grandparent scam". This is when a grandparent gets a call from someone saying that their grandkid is in jail an needs to be wired money.
"Mom Was Right"
What we have here is the classic look of someone that realized their mom was actually right when it comes to drugs. It's all fun and games until you think you're going to die at a show in Rosarito, Mexico. Someone take this guy home.
Spring Break Fact: Hotels aren't afraid to offer low spring break prices for students only to charge them much more than they were anticipating by charging them for expenses that weren't initially included.
Drunken Acrobatics
This is hands down one of the most impressive drunken sleeping positions that we've ever seen. Either this guy is a total amateur or a complete pro, there's no way to really tell. Something tells us he had the spins and this was his way of solving it. Whatever floats your boat.
Spring Break Fact: College students can find fantasy spring break packages offering deals such as days worth of free booze, booze cruises, complimentary food and more. You just have to be careful when you sign up.
Man Down
If spring break looked like a person, it would look very close to this guy here. This man looks like he went put through the absolute ringer on his week off. Some people walk away with a nasty hangover, but this guy looks like he needs a whole other week just for recover.
Spring Break Fact: If you wear sunscreen while you're aggressively partying outside, you're far less likely to get severely sunburned, like this guy.
We Have A Situation
One way you may know you got a little too drunk is if you actually pee yourself. Although this technically should be embarrassing, some people wear it like a badge of honor. yet, we do feel bad for this young man, because he looks like he's about to hurl at the same time.
Spring Break Fact: Avoid alcohol poisoning at all cost. Not only might it kill you but it will for sure ruin your next day and also anyone else that has to take care of you will hate you.
Waking Up On Sunday...
Wow, somebody check her to make sure she's still breathing. We just hope that whatever she did last night was worth it because she's probably going to feel a little bit under the weather today. We wonder if she'll even recognize herself when she looks in the mirror.
Spring Break Fact: If you take the time to eat some food, drink some water, take off your makeup, you might wake up looking and feeling like a real human being. Otherwise, if you don't, you might end up looking like her.
THESE Are My Crocs
Is it just me or should crocs still be as relevant as they were in 2008? They are convenient and affordable and perfect for spring break. They allow your feet to breathe while also being very waterproof. If someone calls you out for wearing them you need to throw your drink in their face and tell them to get cultured ASAP.
Spring Break Fact: A report from the American Medical Association says, "More than half of college students know friends who were sexually active with more than one person during SB. Great news Crocs-wearers, you don't have to worry about sexual experiences because wearing them will ensure no one is attracted to you.
