Just A Friendly Reminder That France Is Super Weird
Every culture is a little bit different. That's what makes the world an unusual and exciting place. While differences are a good thing, there can definitely be some culture shock. Americans are pretty similar to their Canadian neighbors up north and their British allies across the pond, but the French have always seemed a little peculiar.
If you think that the French are a bit odd, it's for a good reason. France might have invented democracy, but they also developed some strange laws and customs. Some are unimaginable, and some will make you envious. Their strange bread laws will make any carb-lover swoon. The French are weird, and we love them for it.
Marie Antoinette's Breasts Live On
Legend says that the shape of a champagne glass comes from a mold of the famous French queen's left breast. Champagne is specific to the Champagne region of France (shocking I know), so its fitting that the glassware reflects a French icon.
Kate Moss recently paid tribute to this strange fact by having champagne served at her 40th birthday party in glasses molded after her left breast.
You Can't Name Your Pig Napoleon
This law dates back to when Napoleon Bonaparte reigned in France in the 17th century. It says that you aren't allowed to insult any head of state, but that pigs specifically were off limits.
Famous writer George Orwell didn't care about this law when he named a pig Napoleon in his novel Animal Farm. Unsurprisingly, the pig ends up becoming a dictator.
There Are No Stop Signs In Paris
That's right, the city home to the craziest drivers also doesn't have any stop signs. There used to be one single stop sign at the end of a facility driveway, but it was mysteriously removed sometime between 2012-2014.
Instead, drivers rely on yield signs, the right of way, and endless roundabouts (we'll get to that later). It may sound crazy, but I guess it's working out okay for them.
They Take Their Sweet Time
The French are well known for never being in a rush, but some of them take it too far. It's commonplace in France to spend over an hour drinking just one cup of espresso.
An espresso cup is already so small... how small are the sips they take in an hour? Plus then it gets cold and you end up just sipping grainy bean water.
France Is Home To More Than Half The World's Roundabouts
One roundabout is bad enough, so imagine having to navigate more than 30,000 in France. Because they decided for absolutely no reason to shun stop signs, they implemented way too many roundabouts.
I want to think the roundabouts work fine but I've never successfully navigated one myself so I have zero faith in them.
Carbs Are Life
The French love carbs so much, they made a bunch of laws about it. The French Revolution caused a bread shortage and forced the state to create the bread laws. The laws regulated when bakers could take a vacation to make sure there is always a bakery open in a town.
They even have national baguette competitions. It's also common to see someone walking around munching on a baguette. This is one weird thing about France I can get behind.
No Pants Allowed
It's hard to believe that pants on women only became legal in 2012. Yes, 2012. Before that, there was a French law that stated women could only wear pants when they were either on a bicycle or commanding a carriage.
I know these laws are rarely enforced, but for a country that created democracy, they seriously lack in women's rights.
Don't Expect To Get Any Change Back
The #1 tip for travelers to France is to always have spare change on you. A law in France says that shop owners don't legally need to give you change. So it's on the customer to pay the exact amount of their item.
I'm not sure what world the French are living in, but I feel like that's an easy way to get ripped off.
The French Love To Sleep More Than A Teenage Boy
French people are some of the most well-rested on earth. They get an average of 9 hours of sleep a night. What is their secret?! Do they have more willpower than I do? They are definitely not Netflix binge-watchers then.
There is probably another wacky French law that states a mandatory "lights out" time.
Zidane's Headbutt Will Live On Forever
Not many countries would memorialize something as scandalous as Zinedine Zidane's headbutt in the final game of his career, but France is just weird enough to do it.
Statues have been sparking a lot of controversy in America recently, but I think we can all agree that no one would take down a statue commemorating the most dramatic headbutt of all time.
An Afternoon Snack Is A Legit Meal
"Apéritif goûter" is a strange custom in France that translates to having an afternoon snack and a drink to wet your appetite for dinner. I don't know where the French got the idea, but I love it.
First, it's acceptable to walk around chomping on a baguette, and now it's encouraged to have a daily afternoon pre-dinner meal. Why doesn't America have this custom?
Their Public Bathrooms Are Disgusting
Look, any public bathroom is gross, but France takes it too far. First of all, good luck finding one. Public restrooms are few and far between, and if you think you can slip into a cafe to use you, you'll likely end up with a hole in the ground you have to squat over.
France has made an effort to provide more public washrooms, but you have to pay to get in them. I guess French people just never pee.
You Can Marry The Dead
Continuing from weird to cringe-worthy, French people can legally marry the dead. This trend began in the 1950s when a socialite's fiance died, but she still wanted to marry him. The socialite asked the President of France, Charles de Gaulle, for permission and he eventually said yes.
Since then, it's remained legal to marry a dead person as long as the President approves. Legal or not, it's creepy.
There Is No Kissing At Train Stations
Kissing is banned at train stations and on train platforms in France. Some people think it's because it would delay people from boarding the train and mess up the schedule.
France needs to take a page out of New York City's book because those subway doors show no mercy.
But They Kiss Literally Everywhere Else
You may be limited to train-station-kisses, but there are strict kissing rules to follow everywhere else. French people kiss each other on the cheeks as a greeting, but how many kisses per greeting changed by the region.
Two kisses are the most common, so if you're only visiting Paris, you're in the clear. But if you go north, you may be up to four or five kisses per greeting. Only France would manage to regulate cheek-kissing by territory.
Stores Can Only Have Two Sales A Year
Don't expect to find any Black Friday sales in France. Stores are only allowed to put their merchandise on sale in January and July. This popularized the idea of the "semi-annual sale," but every other retailer knows that we love to shop more than twice a year.
This is discrimination against those of us who are too thrifty to afford regularly priced clothes. Loosen up, France!
It Feels Like Nothing Is Ever Open
A lot of people new to France always complain that it feels like nothing is ever open, and that's kind of true. Sunday is still a day of rest in France, but many stores also close for the afternoon or on whatever day they want.
Overall, the French just love their vacations and don't care if the rest of the world suffers at their hand.
Somone Has A Grudge Against Ketchup
Ketchup is banned from being served in school programs all because one chef really hates America. Christopher Hebert was president of the National Association of Municipal Catering Managers when he cleared all schools of ketchup because he thought it was "the incarnation of Americanism."
I automatically assumed that if they hated America, they'd ban mayo, but mayonnaise was actually invented in France.
They Still Have Mayors For Their Ghost Towns
France still employs mayors to maintain ghost towns. Many villages and cities were destroyed in WW2, but France continues to take care of them.
Governing municipalities with zero population must be what they're doing with all their spare time. They're probably using the change they denied us to pay the mayor's salary.
For Some Reason, The Army Still Has Carrier Pigeons
French people are gearing up for the second coming by being the only army to continue training army carrier pigeons. These pigeons are trained and ready to go in case an electromagnetic war cuts off all other forms of communication.
Either the French are crazy conspiracy theorists, or they'll be the only ones prepared.
