Haircuts That Are So Hairribly Tragic That Edward Scissorhands Could Be Behind Them
You're lying to yourself if you've never had a bad hair day, month, or year. We've all fallen victim to the infamous bowl cut, blonde highlights that end up turning orange, or a mohawk that is so high it touches the ceiling.
These moments in time are learning experiences for all of us. As we get older, our haircuts should mature and become more normal and appropriate. Thankfully, some people don't get that memo and maintain awful haircuts all the time.
The McDonald's Grease Cut
I don't know what this guy was thinking, but my god, this is just awful. He literally looks like he dips his hair in McDonald's fries grease and then gives himself a big grin in the mirror and he's out the door.
This is just a tragic haircut, but to each their own, I guess? Maybe lay off the hair gel just a tad, or don't if you want to get some weird stares.
Party In The Front
If you ever saw this style of haircut walking through the hallway you immediately would try to avoid eye contact.
This is the hairstyle of someone who would have no problem spitting on their English teacher and then doubling down on the principal. This haircut screams "daddy issues" from the tallest tower of this kid's small southern town. If you're as uncomfortable as me looking at this picture, just go to the next page please.
Over The Top Mohawk
Oh boy. It's the mohawk guy who overdoes it, smells like hairspray and body odor, and yells profanities at the librarian.
This haircut could kill someone. This is a weapon of mass destruction and it's not something to joke around about. If you're an enemy, you need to stay away from this battering ram. If someone needs a sharp object to pry open a door, or cut a diamond, this kid's hair is available.
Did A Cat Lick His Hair?
Honestly, I cannot stop laughing at this picture. It's actually hilarious. Does this guy not have ONE person in his life who can say, "you know what man, I think that you should maybe rethink your haircut before you put it on a billboard."
He literally looks like a cat has been licking it for four hours prior to getting this picture taken. A guy looks like he glazed his hair with sweet and sour sauce just ahead, and now I want chicken nuggets.
A Weird Homer Simpson
Okay, so let's get past the fact that he looks like a jailbird out of a Simpsons' episode.
His hair makes me crave a water park. I feel like every time I look at this picture I want to slide down a water slide or take a ride down the lazy river. I don't know. He does deserve some serious creativity for this. He wins the award for "most likely to look like Hulk Hogan after he ate too many lemons."
Looking At This Makes Me Want To Play Tetris
I don't know what this guy said to his barber, but I have a feeling it was a very bizarre conversation.
He probably showed him a Tetris piece and said, "make me look like that." This is a great haircut for sitting in an airplane, and an awful haircut for trying to put on a hat. The great news is that kids can hide in his hair on a sunny day to ensure some shade. You win some and you lose some.
So Many Questions...
Grease: the Musical called, they want their hairstyle back. Actually, that's a severe injustice to even compare the two, because this is just atrocious.
It looks like he glazed his hair over with some sweet and sour sauce. I'm now craving some chicken nuggets, so thanks TSA man. Have you ever seen a haircut that makes you look like a Monopoly piece? Well, prepare yourself for what's coming up because it's a doozy.
The Distant Mullet
I kind of get emotional looking at this picture. The fact that the hair is separated by a moat-type distance makes me think the hair miss each other.
What we forget is that the top and the bottom of our hair are friends. This is like removing a kid from a family and sending them across the world. They miss each other. When they miss each other, it's for good reason. It means you look like garbage.
He Looks Like A Monopoly Piece
I don't know what the heck is going on in this picture, but there's a part of me that actually respects the cleanliness of it.
There's not a single strand of hair that is out of place. It's the perfect little ball that makes him look like if he passes "GO" he'll be rewarded $200. Coming up, a Shaun White lookalike if he was caught in an emo phase and it's not this ginger Monopoly piece.
Saturn, Is That You?
There's nothing wrong with being a big fan of space. This kid wanted to look like his favorite planet and there's nothing wrong with that.
If you think about the practicality of this cut as well, it starts to make more sense. Think about everything you can hold on your head. Heck, you can even pour some milk and cereal in on the top. This will save you so much money on bowls.
"It's Not A Phase, Mom"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't this guy look like Shaun White, the professional snowboarder, if he was still stuck in his emo phase?
This guy looks like he listens to My Chemical Romance alone in his bedroom and refuses to go downstairs and eat dinner with the rest of the family. Coming up, the perfect summer hairstyle that will make you want to grab the nearest fruit smoothie.
Confusion In The Front, Something In The Back
I know that a mullet is supposed to be 'business in the front, party in the back' but this haircut is anything but. Looking at him is about as confusing as looking at a Sudoku puzzle for the first time. It's only easy for math nerds.
There's nothing business-y about what's happening at the front of this guy's head. It's just straight up confusing to look at, not going to lie.
I Will Put You In A Smoothie
Everyone talks about the perfect summer hairstyle and I think we've found it. This is fresh, colorful, and breezy. If you don't hear tropical house music when you look at this picture, you're wrong, very wrong.
His hair makes me want to put him in my morning smoothie. I don't know, you might be making fun of him now, but just wait until next year when fruit haircuts become a trend.
Tinder Vs. Reality
If you've ever brought in a picture of a model with a haircut that you want, you know this feeling. You're setting yourself up for disaster. If you look like a potato, you're still going to be a potato after your cut.
That's even assuming the hairdresser even gives you the right cut in the first place. This guy is feeling the traumatic effects of looking like an actual mushroom.
Curly Fries
This is the expectation vs the reality of having curly hair. This girl looks like she has a bunch of curly fries hanging from her head.
I'm not going to lie, those look like some pretty delicious curly fries. If someone has some ketchup, do you mind tossing it over here? I'm not even hungry, but if someone is dangling curly fries in front of your face then you take those suckers.
The Tomat-NO Haircut
Not only is this haircut aesthetically not pleasing, but it also segregates a big portion of the population. Why? Because tomatoes are a very divisive FRUIT (yes, fruit). Not a lot of people like the red rocket and others are allergic.
There's a huge slice of the population that can't be near tomatoes. If your hair is a tomato, you're not giving yourself the best chance to make friends. Change it up.
The Icicle
Okay, this has to be one of the best haircuts on this list. This guy's facial expression is exactly what I would imagine an icicle-turned-human to have.
He has a cold stare that shows he's bitter about his past life. He was once a flourishing drop of water free to move wherever he so chooses. Okay, if you see an icicle hanging from a rooftop and it looks like this guy's hair, how quickly are you calling the police?
Get The Sharpie Out
This is what happens when you pass out at a party and let your friends draw all over your face with a sharpie.
Oh wait, nope, this guy literally wants his hair to look like that. There's something oddly satisfying when you look at this picture. He should at least be asking the marker company for sponsorship or something. Sharpie called, they want their new mascot back, I think, kind of.
Standard Poodle Alert
I don't know what this guy was going for in his graduation pictures, but I don't think this was it.
He looks like he's about to enter a dog show as a standard poodle, and honestly, my guess is that he would probably win. He looks perfectly groomed, and he even has the model face for when he gets trotted out beside his owner. His hair makes him look like he has the cutest dog ears of all time.
Turn The Volume Up
If she was a TV remote, she would always be on high volume. That hair looks incredibly difficult to climb. Hikers get all nervous about going to Mount Everest, but they should maybe try to scale this woman's haircut first.
This could be the eighth wonder of the world. Move over Stonehenge, this lady has a structure that is more worthwhile to look at than you. Don't even get me started on her eyebrows.
Sack Head
This guy looks like he has two sacks of, uh, something on either side of his head. I don't want to be the one to point out what part of the male anatomy it looks like, but it's definitely not an elbow.
He kind of looks like Princess Leia if Star Wars was only allowed to have an all-male cast. I'm sure he'll grow up to look back fondly on this picture, and hopefully, his braces don't follow him into adulthood.
Tiki Hut hair
It's very possible that this kid just went to Jamaica on vacation and stayed in a tiki hut and wanted his hair to look like the roof of one. Wait for it, ah, now you see it.
You know those roofs that are spaced out like this, and are usually made of straw? Hey, maybe there's some structural benefit that this kid is going to have. Those tiki huts can survive through even the worst hurricanes.
How Does This Work?
Okay, so besides the fact that this guy looks like some sort of alien, I think that he's actually an alien. Here me out on this. How does he have that much hair growing on the face-side of his ears?
I've heard of sideburns, but this is like, side third-degree burns. Okay, I'll work on the reference but I'm sure you get my point and see why this picture gets harder to look at the more you stare.
The Balding Hippie
If you have thick enough hair to wear dreads, you're very lucky. This guy has a confusing hairstyle, though. First of all, you have to be wearing a Bob Marley shirt if you're going to be white and have dreads.
But, the bigger issue is that he has long hair and has a balding crown. This couldn't be a more counteractive combination so close together. Very bizarre for everyone around him.
Hockey Puck Head
It's really sad to see business people with advertisements and horrible haircuts. You know he's powerful because if he wasn't, someone would've told him that having a parted hockey puck on your head isn't chill.
It looks like he has a bunch of "yes men" that surround him constantly. It would've been beneficial to have his wife come and buzz it off while he was sleeping. It may have been the only way to work it.
This Is The Appetizer
If this haircut was food, it would be the appetizer. Why? Because it's not a full course meal just yet. It still needs a few more inches to really be on the entree menu.
Just wait until you see the golden mullet that's coming up in a few pages. You'll really understand why this is only the appetizer once you lay your eyes on the filet mignon of long mullets. It's glorious.
Call Him Dragon
I don't know why, but I really want to call this guy "Dragon." Don't you feel like if he wasn't a human and had to be something else, he'd be a dragon? He's just so majestic.
Either that, or he's an up and coming rapper that sells out shows in his own basement and live streams it on Instagram. If no one else gets that vibe then you're living under a rock.
Dog The Bounty Hunter
Okay Dog The Bounty Hunter, we see you. Who knew that he was able to slim down as much as he did? This is impressive more than anything. This guy better be careful around girls because they'll probably be incredibly jealous of his hair.
This guy has beautiful platinum blonde hair that girls are willing to pay hundreds of dollars to get. The Golden Retriever look is very in right now.
The Tire Tread Haircut
This girl's last name must be Michelin or something. That's the only reason why it would make sense that she has this tire tread cut into the back of her head.
I guess it works in her favor if she's hoping to dive onto an icy road and they're winter tires. This cut could also a few lightning bolts. Maybe she's a huge advocate for storms of some sort? It's a bit of a stretch, I know.
Don't Fall Asleep At A Party
This is what happens when you don't have enough caffeine in your system and you fall asleep at the party first. Never fall asleep first, that's when the worst of the worst comes out.
This kid got his head shaved when he was passed out. He should be counting his blessings that his eyebrows and entire face aren't shaved off. That's the usual treatment. This hair will grow back. It looks kind of interesting anyway.
Two Faced
This is a smart strategy. If you're someone who is always getting in trouble, or in fights, you need to get this haircut. You always want people to think that you're looking at them.
This dude literally has eyes on the back of his head. Yes, the fake face's jaw looks slightly broken, but that just adds to the roughed up look that he's probably trying to show off. This is practical and creative.
The Unfinished Fade
Not sure who told this guy that it was okay to walk out of the house looking like this, but they need to be talked to. If the front part of your hair looks like you just got out of the shower and the rest looks dry, there's an immediate problem.
This Freddie officially looks more terrifying than Freddie Krueger from all the murder movies. That's just a humble opinion.
Put A Bowl On It
Hey, it's hard to blame the employees who were trying to get their work done quickly and clock out. We've all been there. If you have dinner plans at five, and the only way you're getting there on time is if you give your client a bowl cut, you do what you have to do.
This guy looks like he's Amish, but that's not even a bad thing. He should embrace the compliment and run with it. It makes him very different and unique. Right?
Steve Is Going Through Some 'Stranger Things' Off The Camera
Joe Keery, one of the stars of the iconic Stranger Things franchise, might be best known for his iconic flow. His hair was such a part of his character that he even had a rant with Dustin about just how he pulled off the look. But it looks like all the work wasn't worth it, so Keery decided to cut it all off.
Fans were noticeably upset with the new look, and now we're all wondering what this means for Steve in the next season. How do we go on from here Joe?
A Little Hair Moustache
I think this guy missed the memo on the mustache on the forehead thing. He literally looks like he has Sherlock Holmes' stache just glued to his forehead.
Either that or if you were to put a little face on his forehead, it could work as a middle-aged woman's haircut. That woman would be definitely calling for the manager at a dollar store over a 50 cent price change. Tragic.
