Definitive Proof That We Can’t Handle The Heat
All winter long we complain tirelessly about how much we miss summer. When you're shoveling your driveway twice a day and wearing three layers of clothing to work, you can't help but dream about wearing shorts and a T-shirt. But then summer hits, and we all remember what it's actually like.
We think we want the heat until it's 90°F and you're planning your entire day around which restaurants and shops have an air conditioner. Even those who don't have an A/C start improvising out of desperation. These photos are a reminder that even though we say we like summer, we really can't handle this heat.
Or Try Driving With Oven Mitts
If driving in the heat isn't proof that humans are stubborn, I don't know what is. Only our species would willingly enter a large metal box that has been cooking in the sun for hours, just to get to Starbucks.
We wouldn't wear a thick leather jacket in summer, yet we're fine holding onto a thick leatherbound steering wheel.
At Least You Don't Need A Gym Membership To Go To The Sauna
Carribean nations have the best heat because there's less humidity down there. Just sunshine and a light breeze. For some reason, many parts of America decided that when it's hot, it's automatically as humid as a sauna too.
I'm happy that my pores are clearing out, but I'm walking to the corner store and dripping sweat. So it's really not worth it.
Burns Don't Just Come From The Sun
This girl got a second-degree burn from the metal part of her seatbelt. If having to touch the steering wheel didn't scare you off driving, this should. Now both the driver and the passengers need to be wearing oven mitts at all times when they're in a car.
Sometimes The Only Way To Stay Cool Is Getting Drunk In The Kiddie Pool
I'm not condoning this, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. When it's mid-summer and the A/C isn't doing it for you, sipping on mojitos all day long while laying in the kiddie pool is the next best thing.
Just make sure you don't get too drunk like this woman and end up having to be rescued by the lifeguards.
When Your Boss Says You Can Wear What You Want To Work But It's 84°F
It's always appreciated when your boss understands that it's too hot to wear that thick cotton-poly blend uniform to work, but this guy took it a step too far.
When your boss says "wear whatever you want to keep cool" he probably meant a light T-shirt and shorts. Just make sure not to spill any of the meatball marinara sauce on yourself.
It's Impossible To Be Happy In This Weather
We all have that one weird friend that actually enjoys sweating from every gland on their body 24/7 during summer, but for the rest of us, it's a terrible four months. If you're someone who hates the heat but is forced to do summer activities, this coffin-shaped floaty is the perfect way to survive.
"I Thought That Was The Temperature For A Sec— Oh."
It's a well-known fact that all activity in the summer only happens in the early morning, and late at night. If the sun is up, we're all inside.
I'm not sure what emergency happened to force this person to be in their car in mid-afternoon, but my heart goes out to them.
Let's Deal With The Real Culprit
Everyone is out here complaining about the power grid being out because our A/Cs overloaded it or the fact there is no ice left at the grocery store. But the real issue here is Mr. Sun.
The sun needs to stop frontin' and either burn us all to death or let us live our lives.
Style No Longer Outweights Practicality
I was in seventh grade once too. The tearaway pants are about as cool as it gets. But they're only cool once you impress everyone with one smooth unzip. This guy is just wasting their cool-factor by leaving the bottoms on. And at what cost?
Windows Up, A/C On Blast
Science has tried to end the age-old debate about whether or not it's more effective to drive with the windows down, or with the A/C on.
Basically, A/C always wins even though it eats up your fuel efficiency. But I think this dog and everyone in this heatwave will agree with keeping the A/C free flowing.
What The Cluck Is Up With This Heat
These chickens are smart enough to know that their feet are an important part of how bodies regulate temperature. But even standing on a bag of ice won't keep these chickens happy.
I've heard of people frying an egg on the sidewalk, but these chickens look hot enough for their eggs to come out hard-boiled.
Summer Would Be So Much Worse If You Were Covered In Fur
Whenever you think you're about to die from the summer heat, just be thankful that you're not covered in fur. My cat has pushed one the of chairs in front of our A/C and hasn't moved since it went about 80°F. This cat doesn't have an A/C to use, so they're doing their best with an ice pack instead.
The One Time A Year That Fan Suppliers Have A Complete Monopoly
If this empty fan aisle in the local Target doesn't tell you it's summer, then you must be one of the privileged people with central air. The rest of us rely desperately on our window A/C's and fourteen different fans.
I've spent hours on the internet researching airflow and home designs to make sure my ten fans are set up in the most effective way. Surviving summer is no joke.
No A/C? Time To Improvise
For those lucky people who beat the rush and got one of those fans before they sold out, that doesn't mean they'll cool you down. Mostly, they just blow hot air at you. But this person MacGyver-ed an A/C and I'm honestly impressed.
The only problem is that block of ice will probably melt in about five minutes in this heat. But hey, they tried.
At Least You'll Leave Work With A Delicious Snack
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When the sun gives you all its blistering heat for three months straight, bake cookies on your dashboard. Not only will you have a delicious snack for the hot drive home, but your car will now smell like cookies instead of sweat. Yum.
This Counts As A Public Pool
When we enter the summertime, we enter an unwritten contract between ourselves and the city we live in. If they aren't going to splurge on A/C in the public libraries, then we're going to help ourselves to anything public that will help cool us down.
If that means floating in a public fountain for a few hours, then that's just the way it is.
But How Will I Complain On Twitter About The Heat?
Summer feels like a four-month-long punishment and Mr. Sun is our parent. First, they punish us. Then they force us to stay inside and not see our friends. To cap it all off, they take our phone away so that we can't complain online about it.
I guess I'll be in my bedroom making no noise and pretending I don't exist.
This Squirrel Is The General Mood Across America
I never thought I'd relate to a small rodent that lives its life grinding for acorns, but this squirrel is the spitting image of me laying on my couch on any given Saturday in summer.
I might look dead, but I'm really just trying to keep cool while remembering all the times I didn't appreciate winter.
Iced Coffee Is Just Regular Coffee Now
I feel like it's usually the basic white girls who love summer. They fantasize about beach days and wearing the adorable matching shorts and tank-top sets, but then reality hits.
And as soon as they realize they can't drink their venti mocha iced coffee with almond milk and two pumps of vanilla, then they move into panic mode.
Me Laying On My Hardwood Floor To Cool Off
My go-to move when temperatures hit the mid-90s is to just lay on any cool, flat surface I can. Usually, that means the tile floor in the kitchen or the hardwood in the family room. Carpet is a definite no.
And when you start to warm up, just find a new place to lay that the sun hasn't touched yet. I move from room to room in my house as the sun moves throughout the day.
