A Reminder That Whenever Humans Get Cocky, Sweet, Sweet Irony Is Right There To Shut Us Up
After millions of years of evolution, humans like to think they are infallible. Yes, we're at the top of the food chain, but that doesn't mean we have total control over the world. Most hilarious mistakes don't happen because of chance or coincidence. They happen thanks to human stupidity.
It's almost as if humans have forgotten to dot their I's and cross their T's. We got so comfortable being top dog that we even stopped hiring editors for news channels and made a fool of ourselves. In the famous words of alt-rock prophet Alanis Morissette, "Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?"
Irony Is The Only Permanent Thing In Life
Nothing is written in stone, except this message written in stone. This was probably bought it an airport gift shop by a girl who just graduated from college and traveled to Thailand on her parent's dime to "find herself."
She thought this was a beautiful message of impermanence, and now none of her friends will tell her why they're laughing.
They Made An Attempt, And That's What Matters
I know that fortune cookies are no longer handmade and that this was probably a mechanical mess up, but did it have to be this exact fortune? If this had happened with "Luck is just around the corner!" then it would be no big deal.
Instead, it happened to the worst fortune possible, and I'm convinced it's a bad omen of some sorts.
It's A Work In Progress
Rome wasn't built in a day, and learning how to make friends on your lunch break doesn't come instantly. Still, if you want to avoid social stigma, maybe read this book at home alone where people can't see it. Now, if anyone joins this guy for lunch, it's out of pity.
This Dog Has Zero Regrets About What He's Done
If this dog's owner was trying to shame their pup, then they failed miserably. This doggo has a crazy look in his eyes which tells me that no one can stop him.
Pupperino might be able to sit, lie down, and roll over, but every piece of paper in that household is in constant danger.
Do Self-Checkouts Count As American Citizens?
Exactly what jobs are you investing in with these automated self-checkouts, Walmart? You can hire one repair person for six checkout machines, or you can hire six cashiers and scrap the machines.
If self-checkouts give Walmart enough of a tax break and allow them to cut costs and cut staff, they'd lobby to make them American citizens.
Recycle That Car For A New One
My heart wants to believe that this person already had that personalized license plate before they went out and bought one of the worst vehicles for the environment. Then at least this wouldn't be sad, sad irony. It would just be an example of someone going against all their values.
So Easy That They Are Graduating Grade Six And Becoming A Copy Editor
If you're going to complain about kids not being challenged enough, you had better make sure you're confident in your own smarts.
Maybe this news channel could interview their copy editor who screens all the text because they must be a young graduate from a school that is "two" easy.
At Least They'll Have A Good Lawyer
People online were arguing that this was an elaborate publicity stunt to advertise their ticket lawyer business, and if it's true, then they failed miserably.
There's no way this is a stunt because this proves that traffic ticket lawyers don't even follow the rules they're claiming to be experts of.
This Truck Driver Was Just Following Company Policy
I'm imagining a world where this truck driver is off to make a delivery and turns onto Success Parkway. They know that the bridge coming up is too low and that they shouldn't try to go under it. But they also know that if they're on the road of Success, there are no shortcuts, and they need to stay on route.
I Hope Whoever Found These Keys Returned Them Without That Keychain
There is never a reason to buy this keychain. When you're keys aren't lost, you look pretentious for flaunting the fact that you are special and haven't lost your keys yet.
Then when you do lose it, the person who finds it will think you're an absolute idiot for being so confident with your keys. At least you'll never have to experience the irony firsthand.
What Better Way To Raise Awareness Than Selling Sugary Treats
Look. I know that no one will pay one dollar for a goodie bag of fruits and vegetables, but it's just so painfully ironic. They could have advertised sugar-free baked goods, or handed out a free carrot with each brownie purchase.
I'm just saying that there are steps they could have taken to seem a little more credible.
Hobby Lobby Was Built On A Foundation Of Irony
Hobby Lobby is a proudly Christian company. They've notably refused health care benefits for the Morning After Pill, refused to stock items for Jewish holidays, and keeps Sunday as a day of rest. Americans love Hobby Lobby, but apparently, Hobby Lobby doesn't like manufacturing products in America.
It's Technically Still Hanging In There
I can't tell if this is ironic, or just even more true to its word. Advertising your hanger section with a hanging sign seems like an excellent way to prove a point to your customers.
But I honestly think a broken sign that is still hanging will draw even more attention to the section. Maybe it's all part of Walmart's master plan.
Someone Didn't Learn From History
One of the few professions on earth that openly admits that humans aren't infallible is historians. They study the faults of humankind and badger us every day to look back and learn from our mistakes.
But learning from our mistakes would mean admitting we were wrong, and that's not our best trait.
When The AAA Guy Has To Call AAA To Help Him Unlock The Car
This girl had to call AAA because she locked her keys in her car, and then the AAA guy subsequently locked his keys in his car. Let's hope the other AAA car that showed up to rescue them both has his keys on hand. Proof that even your heroes make mistakes.
Happy Earth Day!
Maybe if you're participating in an Earth Day marathon, then you should shell out the dough for one of those sweet belts that carry a bunch of tiny little squirt water bottles. Or even one of those backpacks with a tube for water.
There are so many more possibilities than grabbing a cup on the go and tossing it a few steps later.
Trees Protect Their Own, But At What Cost?
I support standing up for the little guy and protecting them when necessary, but this seems bittersweet. Maybe we wouldn't have to plant and protect new trees if we stopped cutting them down so rapidly.
This poor little tree will grow up knowing that its ancestors died for them to succeed in life.
It's All About Putting Yourself In The Shoes Of The Victim
The collision investigator was actually training a new hire on what to expect when they arrive at a crash scene.
Rather than waiting days or even weeks for a collision to happen on its own, they figured they'd crash the car themselves, investigate it, and call it a day.
Alicia Keys: This Fire Extinguisher Is On FIIIIIREEE
Humans rely on a few select things to protect us from our stupid ideas. Helmets, fire extinguishers, and your best friend who takes your phone from you at the bar so you don't text your ex.
I thought fire extinguishers were on our side, but this proves irony is the ultimate decider of our destiny.
Congrats, You Played Yourself
When you're learning something new and begin to question if the teacher is qualified, think back to School of Rock. Jack Black hits us with the knowledge that, "Those that can't do, teach. And those that can't teach, teach gym."
Lyrics4us2 has played themselves, and they'll play 16,883 of us if we take their advice.
