Woman Asks If She’s Wrong For Secretly Hiding Veggies In Her Boyfriend’s Food
Love, deception, and a battle of taste buds unfold as a woman cleverly conceals vegetables in her boyfriend's meals.
Is it a harmless way to get him to eat healthier, or is it a breach of trust? The internet weighs in.
Relationships Are Messy
When you've been in a long-term relationship with someone, you get to know their little quirks and habits. One woman on Reddit found a sneaky way to deal with her boyfriend's quirk, but it's turned out to be controversial.
It involves vegetables.
A "Ridiculous Argument"
"This is the most ridiculous argument I've had with a grown man," she begins her post.
"I (28f) have been with my boyfriend (36f) for a year and we moved in together about 4 months ago. One of the first things I noticed about my boyfriend was that he never really ate vegetables."
Refused To Eat Veggies
"He would sometimes eat them if we were out at a restaurant and they came as part of his meal," she explained.
"But he never ate them when I cooked for him."
It Wasn't Her Cooking
"Originally, I thought that maybe my cooking was the problem so I asked him if he enjoyed my food and he told me he loves my cooking," she wrote.
He wasn't cooking for himself, either.
Frozen Food Only
She explained that when she wasn't making his food, he still avoided all veggies.
"On nights I didn't cook for him, he ate exclusively frozen foods and never ate the vegetables in those either," she wrote.
He's Not Healthy
"Naturally, he has some health issues," she explained. "Vitamin deficiencies etc."
He didn't connect his health to his diet. "He had phrased it to me as if he was somehow just genetically unlucky."
The Culprit Was Clear
"I believed it for a while because I don't know how that stuff works," she wrote.
"But eventually it became clear to me it's because he voluntarily eats a vegetable like once a month."
She Sprung Into Action
"[Six] months ago I started hiding vegetables in my cooking," she explained.
"If I was making pasta, I'd put the vegetables in I’d usually put in for myself," she went on.
Blending Them Up
She said that after that, she'd "then take half out and blend it so he wouldn't notice the vegetable chunks and then tell him I’d just scooped the veg out of his portion."
Seems like everyone wins, right?
His Health Has Been Improving
"This happens more often now we live together because I do all of the cooking," she wrote.
"He's been telling me a lot lately he’s been feeling a lot better the past few months."
Things Were Looking Up
She wrote that her boyfriend "has even had his doctor reduce the dosage of some of his medications and he hasn't had to take his multivitamin in weeks."
This solution probably sounds familiar to any parents of picky eaters!
She Didn't Tell Him
"I kept my mouth shut because I'm just glad he’s feeling better and it really does me no harm to hide the veg in his food," she wrote.
Then everything fell apart.
Blender Problems
"Yesterday, I was making one of our regular pasta meals (it's one that’s very easy to hide at least 4 veggies in) and I was about to blend my boyfriend’s portion when the blender died mid-blend," she wrote.
Uh oh.
He Cottoned On
"I had to serve it in all its veg chunk glory," she wrote.
"My boyfriend refused to eat the vegetables, but when he tasted the sauce he said it's weird how it tastes the exact same even though this one has veg in it."
She Came Clean
"So, I confessed," she said, revealing that she had been secretly feeding him vegetables.
"He screamed at me and called me a controlling [expletive] and said that it's none of my business if he thinks vegetables don’t do anything."
"None Of Her Business"
"I pointed out he said he felt better," she wrote.
"He said his health was none of my business and that I'm a controlling, judgy [jerk] and stormed out of our apartment to stay with his sister."
His Sister Chimed In
"His sister texted me to say he's fine but she agrees with him," she wrote.
"My friends agree it’s ridiculous that he didn’t eat veg but agree I’m being [a jerk]," she added. She then asked Reddit if they agreed.
Commenters Chimed In
"This is a grown man 8 years older than you," one user wrote.
"If he has a problem with your cooking, let him make his own food. He's already coddled by his sister and doesn’t/shouldn’t need to be by you."
"Something Wrong With Him"
"If you have to sneak in vegetables because he has an abject objection to adhering to his body's requirements to be healthy, then it's because there is something wrong with him and he needs to be dragged to a doctor," one user wrote.
Other commenters were similarly concerned about his health.
"His Needs Are Being Fulfilled"
"You're feeding him food that he requires to be healthy literally improved his wellbeing," one user pointed out.
"So clearly, he's fine with vegetables as long as he doesn't know that his body's needs are being fulfilled."
Others Disagreed
"I'm kind of on the fence because on the one hand, he's supposed to be a grown adult."
"He just threw a giant temper tantrum and stormed out because he found out that there were vegetables in his pasta," a commenter wrote.
Violating His Autonomy
"On the other hand, I can understand how it would be a violation of his autonomy," they continued.
"He may be acting like a child, but he isn't one, so it's his own fault that he can't grow up and eat a vegetable for his own health."
Others Disapproved Of Lying
"There's an argument to be had about why lying to him about what you're putting in his food is bad, but it's not like you're doing it out of some weird perceptions about health," one user shared.
"Eat your damn vegetables."
Some Said She Was Tampering With His Food
"You shouldn't be tampering with his food," one user shared.
"I'd be annoyed if my partner took it upon themselves to police my food, and put in stuff that I'd made it very clear I didn’t like."
Some People Thought They Were Both Wrong
"He's an adult and can make his own decisions on what he eats, even if this is at the detriment of his health," one user wrote but emphasized they didn't agree with his choices.
"He sucks for being a giant toddler."
"Quit Acting Like His Mother"
"I think you just need to quit acting like his mother. Also, you are dating a toddler," one user wrote.
They added she wasn't in the wrong "for feeding him vegetables, which apparently he liked and is now having a tantrum about, but you should have had a discussion about it."
Less Lying And Drama
"Listen. Lies and deception are no way to build a healthy relationship. You know that, he knows that, society, in general, knows that," another commenter wrote.
"However, consider what drove you to this behavior because it doesn't sound like this would be a healthy relationship even without the lying and food drama."
He Overreacted
"I think he sucks far more than you. His overaction is really silly, but I can understand how he feels manipulated by you," another user wrote.
"Meanwhile, you had great intentions and actually helped him, but the subterfuge bothers me - the guy is an adult, and he gets to choose his own diet."
Boundary Pushing
"I don't think people are ever in the right if they’re sneaking stuff into adult’s food. Even if it’s healthy and good for them, you knew he didn’t want to eat them but you just couldn’t respect that," one user wrote.
"It’s serious boundary-pushing."
What Do You Think?
Was she in the wrong for meddling with his diet without telling him, or should he have just accepted the fact that she was helping him get the vegetables he needed?
This is a real head-scratcher.
